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Dolly Parton For Musician In Chief

CBS Sunday Morning's Faith Salie Nominates the Bedazzled Country Queen

Friday, October 12, 2012

Mayor Koch gives City Key to Dolly Parton on the steps of City Hall, August 21, 1978. (Mayor Ed Koch Collection. Courtesy of the New York City Municipal Archives.)

Over the next few weeks, Soundcheck is looking for our first Musician In Chief. Special guests nominate musicians and make a case for why that artist should become commander in chief. So far, Keith Richards and Patti Smith have been nominated. Today, we turn to CBS Sunday Morning contributor Faith Salie for her pick, Dolly Parton.

START THE CONVERSATION: Who do you think should become the first "Musician In Chief"? Fill out THIS questionnaire into our comments section, or email your response to soundcheck@wnyc.org

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The Musician In Chief Candidate: Dolly Parton

Submitted by: Faith Salie

Reason For Nomination:

She's 4'11" of patriotism. She comes from a dirt-poor family, so she knows poverty -- and she's worked her way up to become an American legend. She's a talented musician and composer. Plus, she's an amazing businesswoman. (Have you been to Dollywood?) She doesn't have any public political leanings -- and, she's shockingly scandal-free. 

Campaign Slogan:

 "Country Always." Or, "Working 9-5, and 5-9 for America." Or... "Time for New Boobs in the White House." 

 

Probable Running Mate: 

Jay-Z. He's also a transcendent figure from hardscrabble roots. And there's a great mash-up of his song "The City Is Mine" and Dolly Parton's "Jolene" that could be played at all of their events. 

 

 

Core Campaign Issues:

- Aggressively funding innovation in science (Dolly the cloned sheep was named after her)

- Fighting illiteracy and poverty

- Supporting LGBT rights and marriage equality

During first 100 days in office, what will your candidate achieve?

She will issue presidential "partons" for any future arrests of Willie Nelson. Plus, she'll also get health insurance to cover elective cosmetic surgeries. 

Who will serve in cabinet?

- Actress Nicole Kidman (Secretary of Keith Urban Development)

- Interior designer Nate Berkus (Secretary of Interior Design)

- British talk show host Graham Norton (Minister-At-Large)

Will he/she perform at inauguration?

Yes, she will sing "I Will Always Love You" for all of the people who didn't vote for her. 

 

Guests:

Faith Salie

Comments [1]

davidindigitaland from Right here

No, No, No, you are a whore and a bore Dolly, though you warbble wonderfully - n' not just this accolade applies to your chest... sorry Dolly but I must hold a thumbs down gurl, your apple pie, your whole pazonna makes me feel I'd rather be alone-a.

Oct. 25 2012 04:21 PM

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