Over the next few weeks, Soundcheck is looking for our first Musician In Chief. Special guests nominate musicians and make a case for why that artist should become commander in chief. So far, Keith Richards and Patti Smith have been nominated. Today, we turn to CBS Sunday Morning contributor Faith Salie for her pick, Dolly Parton.
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The Musician In Chief Candidate: Dolly Parton
Submitted by: Faith Salie
Reason For Nomination:
She's 4'11" of patriotism. She comes from a dirt-poor family, so she knows poverty -- and she's worked her way up to become an American legend. She's a talented musician and composer. Plus, she's an amazing businesswoman. (Have you been to Dollywood?) She doesn't have any public political leanings -- and, she's shockingly scandal-free.
"Country Always." Or, "Working 9-5, and 5-9 for America." Or... "Time for New Boobs in the White House."
Probable Running Mate:
Jay-Z. He's also a transcendent figure from hardscrabble roots. And there's a great mash-up of his song "The City Is Mine" and Dolly Parton's "Jolene" that could be played at all of their events.
Core Campaign Issues:
- Aggressively funding innovation in science (Dolly the cloned sheep was named after her)
- Fighting illiteracy and poverty
- Supporting LGBT rights and marriage equality
During first 100 days in office, what will your candidate achieve?
She will issue presidential "partons" for any future arrests of Willie Nelson. Plus, she'll also get health insurance to cover elective cosmetic surgeries.
Who will serve in cabinet?
- Actress Nicole Kidman (Secretary of Keith Urban Development)
- Interior designer Nate Berkus (Secretary of Interior Design)
- British talk show host Graham Norton (Minister-At-Large)
Will he/she perform at inauguration?
Yes, she will sing "I Will Always Love You" for all of the people who didn't vote for her.